Kevin Bacon looks like aasss.

Did you see him on the tonight show? KB was shackled in some sort of Gem & the Holograms/Members Only pleather jacketish thingy. Do I sound all faggy and/or catty? Yes? Good. Kevin Bacon is so-ho-ho overhyped. I don't care how many degrees are involved.

It could've JUST as easily been some other general-issue (GI) anglo-saxon pud snarfing up the kitsch-spotlight, as KB is now. I hope KB's agent/manager/trainer is getting at LEAST fifteen percent (as opposed to the traditional ten). Because, be honest - KB is ridiculously replaceable. Like a die-cast metal lion from the Voltron set. The cartoon would have us believe that ONLY the yellow lion can serve as the right arm. When, in truth, the blue lion snaps into the right-arm position just as efficiently.

My point.
On Monday, I was skulking around the parking lot of Whole Foods (Santa Monica & Fairfax, 90069) (tee hee)
waiting for a cab. I must have looked quite frantic. Dare I deem my condition "out of my gourd"? I daren't. Because (check it): would a CELEBRITY make eye-contact with someone who's out of his/her gourd?
I think not.
Fact, I KNOW not. Because who happened to make eye-contact with my borderline-out-of-gourderline self but one Mr. Frank Whaley.
Otherwise known as The Poor Man's Kevin Bacon.

Remember "Career Opportunities"? Dude got to rollerskate through an after-hours Target store with Jennifer Connolly. I shit you not.

Frank Whaley SOOO did a double-take at my frazzled, Long-Beach-PD-jacket-wearing self in the parking lot of Whole Foods on Monday, March 21, 2005.

Boo ya. There you have a celebrity encounter.
I defy anybody to fabricate some shit as random as that.