That One Guy, From That One Movie

You know who I'm talking about! Help me out... he was in, uhh... that one movie! That GUY!

Such is the description suffered by Peter Greene and others known as "Character Actors." You've seen 'em a million times, but DAMMIT - you just can't place their name. If I were a character actor (thank Jeebus I'm not), that would take a toll on my actorly ego. Because NO actor wants their name JUST on the tip of your tongue. They want their dick on the tip of your tongue. Ego-metaphorically speaking, only. Eeeooo. I just grossed myself out.

One of my favorite websites, http://www.fametracker.com/, describes him as "Peter Greene, that jumpy, intense guy who played Redfoot in The Usual Suspects, Gus in Permanent Midnight, and Jimmy in Laws of Gravity." Complete resume available at http://imdb.com/name/nm0338886/

He is actually slated to appear in "War of the Worlds". With "Tom Cruise" and "Katie Holmes". Forgive the quotes - I'm a Google whore, and those are among the most-searched tips). Fret not, "Katie Holmes" fans - this blog "celebrity encounters" shall soon tell a tale involving "Katie Holmes nude". (Oooo, that one's gonna bring in the Google hits!)

Anyhoo, back to Peter Greene. I lived a few doors down from him in a dumpy apartment complex on Mansfield Ave. in Hollywood, circa 2002. In his early days of Character Acting, like "The Usual Suspects" (1995), Peter looked great. Then he disintigrated into a greasy, nasty little thing... like a chunk of powder coke getting cooked into crack. And I've seen him do both.

I helped that junkie move out of his apartment, cuz he was getting evicted. And then, one Saturday night when I was out rollerskating with my buds from Shitting Glitter (remember that monthly event, "Space is the Place"?) Peter broke into my apartment and stole my cash AND my stash. Then he had the nerve to come knocking on my door looking to buy a can of delicious, refreshing Coke (wink wink). Because he had just MAGICALLY come into some money. The actor claimed that he'd just received a residual check. Shyeah... from my silverware drawer, underneath the plastic divider thing. Is that an obvious hiding place? Or can druggies just sniff out money? The condition his nose was in, I'm surprised he could smell dog shit on his pillow. If he had a pillow. Which I doubt.

Peter gets partial credit for taking me to Jack in the Box on his motorcycle at 4am one time and buying me some curly fries (he was already,and then helping me hop the fence to Runyon Canyon. But then he would NOT shut up about how Kevin Spacey tried to jump his bones on the set of The Usual Suspects. (I think he'd just chugged a Jumbo Coke. How he held it down on the motorcycle, I have no clue. How I dared hop behind him on that motorcycle, I have no excuse.)

Peter is/was a knob, but if/when I go to jail (which is looking more 'n more likely), I'm writing a tell-all book about my Celebrity Encounters. Then Pat O'Brien from "The Insider" can interview me. And Pat and Peter can share a can of delicious, refreshing Coke. (You KNOW Pat be hittin' it. Look at that honker!)

Peter, if you're reading this: go suck Kevin Spacey's dick, you thieving, emaciated junkie.
You just don't rob your friendly local dealer while she's getting her skate on.