Alley, Kirstie - one

This encounter falls under the category of "Weird Stuff that Happens when you're a Paramount Studio Page." Our day-to-day duties were 1) giving tours and 2) ushering sitcom tapings. Every now and then, the Studio would tap us as their in-house temp-agency, and we'd answer phones in an office or assemble press-kit folders or whatever. But this assignment was a true trip. I wish it were a pleasure trip.

There was a guy who wrote for "Cheers" and climbed the ladder to Producer when "Frasier" launched. He and his wife were passengers on the plane that hit the North tower of the World Trade Center.

Paramount hosted a huge memorial service in the theater ordinarily used for film premieres. I was assigned to the East Gate of the studio (Orange Grove, Lemon Grove... some citrus Grove - just north of Melrose). That's the "secret shortcut" entry gate for higher-ups so they needn't wait in line at the main Melrose entrance. But on 9/15/01, the secret shortcut was closed. My assignment was to stand at the East Gate and direct people to the Main Gate on Melrose, explaining the "security situation." Everybody who pulled up to my gate was pretty cool. None of that *huff* "Don't you know who I am?!" crap that so many celebs pull at premieres and stuff.

I was wearing my Paramount Page uniform and holding a clipboard. For some reason, holding a clipboard is a very potent Hollywood gesture. Celebs see a clipboard, they think "Guest List." In actuality, my clipboard THAT day simply held down a list of instructions... the guest list clipboards were at the Main gate.

I stood at the Gate for about 90 minutes. Many vehicles pulled up, expecting "secret shortcut" access. At least 50 vehicles. But I only remember 2 celebs among them:

- David Hyde Pierce, sitting in the passenger seat of a gorgeous, brand-new Jaguar. A handsome man was at the wheel. Let's just leave it at that.

- Kirstie Alley, driving solo in a GINORMOUS Yukon Dinali. She sees my clipboard, thinking it's a guest list, and says: "Alley, Kirstie - one" (as in "party of one"). She didn't presume that I'd know who she was, and she apparently aimed to make my job easier by saying her last name first, in accordance with guest-list policy.

Say all you want about KA, but she's got a good mark in my book for her sheer non-celeb-attitudiness. Can you believe that?
"Alley, Kirstie - one."